The 5 Best Sexy Games To Reestablish Intimacy and Improve Your Connection

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Image credit: Becca Tapert (via Unsplash)

Do you miss the chemistry you felt at the start of your relationship? Are you stuck in a rut in the bedroom, wishing you could spice things up? If your physical connection has been dwindling lately, we’ve got solutions and suggestions for you.

But first things first: connection is not just about physical attraction. It has an emotional and psychological component, too. Have you ever been on a date with an attractive person, and yet felt that "the spark" was missing? The same thing can happen in our long-term relationships if we don’t work on our emotional connection.

The truth is: relationships built solely on physical attraction tend to end up feeling stale. To sustain passion in the long-term, you both need to feel seen, heard, and deeply understood.  You get there by opening up to each other— by being vulnerable, and sharing your feelings. It's also key to take an interest in each other's perspective, and listen to one another without judgment. 

When you both feel safe enough to communicate your desires, your emotional connection will deepen. And as you grow more comfortable voicing your wants and needs, your physical connection will get better, too. You'll be able to express and discuss what excites you, both inside and outside of the bedroom.

Conversely, when authentic communication wanes, you become more roommates than lovers. You simply co-exist without intimacy to light your fire. 

The good news is: there are ways to come back from this. So if you're worried your relationship has lost its spark, don't panic. We're going to help you revitalize your bond and rediscover that sense of closeness you once had. And we're going to do it in a very practical way: with connection-building exercises and sexy games. 

How To Add More Spice Into Your Relationship

It goes without saying: relationships can feel like hard work. Every partnership comes with its ups and downs. That's normal! What matters is the way you tackle your challenges together as a couple.

As always, communication is key—but communicating well can be tricky. There’s never a perfect script when it comes to sensitive subjects like sex. However, communicating is far better than burying your relationship problems. Over time, they'll only fester, making it increasingly difficult to speak about them.

We believe in keeping lines of communication open from the get-go, and we've got the tools to help you do just that. Together's "Cards" feature includes thoughtful conversation starters to help you open up to your partner on a regular basis. What's more, you'll have fun doing so!

Still, we understand that talking about sex can be a real source of anxiety. Even if you’re a normally confident person, talking about sex can feel uncomfortable and embarrassing. Research shows that we often hesitate to discuss sexual issues because we're afraid to be vulnerable. We also worry about our partner's reaction, and wonder whether they will disapprove of us.

Statistics show that 46% of couples put off addressing sex-related relationship problems. If the thought of bringing up sexual issues scares you, you can ease in with a softer approach. We suggest trying some sexy games to get comfortable talking about intimate matters.

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How Do Sexy Games Help?

If you want your relationship to stand the test of time, you need to work on it.

Although “working on your relationship” might sound like a negative thing, it doesn't have to be. Chad Elliot, a Confidence and Communication Coach, clarifies that working on your relationship “doesn't have to mean hard work. It's fun to play with your partner. It's exciting to explore new activities with them. And it's rewarding to develop ever deeper levels of intimacy together.”

Plus, who doesn’t like playing games? Games are a great way to bring back the spirit of fun that your relationship may be missing.

Gently Broach the Topic

Before we get into ideas for games, let's warm up with a few general suggestions that will help you communicate about sex more effectively.

Whenever you bring up any source of conflict, from sex to other issues, it's a good idea to own your feelings by using “I-statements.” I-statements will help you convey your perspective without blaming or invalidating your partner.

Also, ask open-ended questions like: "What do you feel about this?" or "What do you think?" When you do this, you show your partner that you care about their opinion, too.

Here are three safe sentence starters incorporating these strategies:

  • “I feel...” (instead of: "You make me feel...")
  • “I would like to try…” 
  • “What do you think about...?”

Be Positive With Your Approach

When you're inviting your partner to play sexy games with you, frame it as something fun for you to try together. Emphasize that you want them to join you for an enjoyable experience. The games aren't an obligation or some kind of punishment; they're a way to discover more about each other.

As Helen Fisher, Ph.D., once put it: "Games are the way we keep the romance alive." 

Buy a Game as a Present or Prepare an Activity When You’re Celebrating Something Special

Celebrations and fun go hand in hand, so why not take the opportunity to play?

If you think your partner would be open to the idea, you could even purchase a sexy game as a present for them. A well-chosen game could lead to hours of shared quality time in the future.

Set Ground Rules for the Games

Depending on what kind of game you're playing, bear in mind that you may have to set some ground rules. These will help you both feel safe.

As sex therapist Cay Crow elaborates: “Improper communication regarding what you do or don’t want to do can introduce negative energy into the relationship, which will only shut down both of your desires.

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Try These 5 Sexy Games Experts Say Actually Work 

Intimacy incoming!

Relationship experts recommend the following games for couples who want to reconnect and open up about their desires.

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1. Sexy Pillow Talk 

Who said you can only enjoy pillow talk after sex? Having intimate conversations in bed is a great way to cultivate daily connection regardless. The reality is that the more you communicate in this way, the better your sex life is likely to get!

As sexual wellness expert, Megan Whyte, explains: “pillow talk creates a space of inquiry and sharing which is so important." She goes on to say that these types of communication rituals help you "to find fulfillment in lovemaking.”

Here are some sample topics you might like to discuss next time you're snuggling in bed with your partner:

  • Reminding each other what you love about one another
  • Recalling romantic moments from your relationship
  • Sharing positive thoughts about the future: your dreams, hopes, and wishes.

2. Ask 10 Questions With a Sexy Twist

Do you know what your partner would say in response to the question: “What’s the hottest memory you have of us together?” If you haven’t asked them already, why not go ahead and ask? Their response may not only surprise you, it may also turn both of you on!

Working through lists of steamy questions is a great way to turn up the heat and discover more about each other’s hidden desires. Here are 10 more questions to help you get started:

  1. What’s something you’ve been wanting us to try together, but are too nervous to suggest?
  2. What do you enjoy most about the physical aspect of our relationship?
  3. Do you have any sexual fantasies you think about often? 
  4. Describe a time when I turned you on.
  5. Which one of my physical features do you like the most?
  6. What is your favorite sexual memory of us?
  7. What kind of role play appeals to you most?
  8. What kind of talk do you like in bed?
  9. Have you ever had a sexy dream about me?
  10. What was our funniest sexual mishap?

“If your sex life is already amazing, you should still talk about it,” says Goody Howard, MSW. “You don’t want the only time you and your partner talk about your sex life to be when it needs work.”

3. Truth or Dare

According to Rachel Needle, Psy.D., games like truth or dare can help you “turn up the heat and reconnect.” She suggests asking “deep, exciting questions” and “experimenting with different types of touching and kissing.” 

The best questions encourage vulnerable connection and emotional sharing. For example, you could ask: “What’s something I don’t know about you?” or “What have you always wanted to try but never have?”

When it comes to dares, make them as hot as you both are comfortable with. Reference these ideas if you’re pulling a blank. 

  1. What’s your guilty pleasure?
  2. What’s the best way to turn you on?
  3. I dare you to tell me something you’ve never told anyone before.
  4. What’s your favorite kind of foreplay and what do you like about it?
  5. I dare you to show me a toy you want us to use. 

4. Role Play

"Role-playing is the acting out of your own fantasies or a partner's, and the playing out of a fantasy tends to happen when one feels very safe and secure within a relationship. Role-playing can be an excellent indicator of feeling emotionally and physically safe with a sexual partner,” mentions marriage expert, Caitlyn Caracciolo.

Here are three examples of role-plays couples have tried out:

  1. Repairman and homeowner.
  2. Strangers meeting for the first time.
  3. The masseuse and client. 

Role-playing can be a creative and imaginative way to bond with your partner. Will you experiment with role-play as a way to reconnect? 

5. Spoil Your Spouse

This is more of an experience than a game—but it’s still beneficial. 

When two people initially enter a relationship, they go through what psychologists call “the honeymoon phase.” The initial euphoria can last for up to two years. After that time, intense passion subsides into a more stable kind of love. 

Once you’ve reached this stage, it’s easy to get comfortable and even forget to appreciate your partner. But it can really help your emotional (and, in turn, physical) connection if you take the time to celebrate your loved one in a fresh, new way. It’s easier than you think

Here are three simple ways to show appreciation for your partner:

  1. Pick up a small gift that reminds you of them
  2. Plan a movie night and get their favorite snacks
  3. Offer them a back or hand massage

If you make small, yet thoughtful, gestures on a regular basis, you’re more likely to create a dynamic in which physical and emotional intimacy will thrive. 

If you like, you can certainly make this into more of a game. Challenge yourself to come up with a way to appreciate your partner every day!

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Resolve your relationship pains with Together - a couple coaching app developed by leading therapists.

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Sexy Games Can Help, but a Strong Relationship Is Key

Sometimes, sexual discontent is a side effect of other relationship problems. Whether jealousy is disrupting your relationship, or you’re finding communication particularly difficult, tackling any longstanding issues is likely to help your sexual connection in the long run. We always recommend strengthening your relationship’s foundation if you want to increase intimacy.

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Image credit: Toa Heftiba (via Unsplash)

With this in mind, don’t assume sexy games are a “quick-fix” for your relationship problems. Rather, approach the games as a way to warm up to each other again.

Romantic games can be incredibly enjoyable if both parties are engaged and open to connecting.  Do you think you’re ready to try these sexy games?

If you feel your relationship could benefit from a little additional TLC, check out Together. A fraction of the cost of traditional marriage therapy, Together’s interactive, at-home program targets your specific relationship problems. Whether you want to increase intimacy, improve your sex life, or something else entirely—try out psychologist-approved exercises tailored to your unique situation. We’re confident you’ll start to see positive changes quickly!

If you feel like exploring the app solo, no problem. But if you want to dive in together with your partner, that’s great too. Either way, you’ll get excellent results—Together’s got you covered!

Closing Thoughts From Together

Let’s recap!

Whether you’re trying to spice up your sex life (or bring back a sense of excitement more generally), a deeper connection with your partner is the first stepping stone to your goal. This applies whether you’ve been together for decades, or only a few months. Everyone could use more emotional intimacy in their love lives. 

A lack of intimacy leads to:

  • Communication breakdown
  • Sexual disconnection
  • Mistrust

Healthy intimacy results in:

  • Strong bonds
  • Foundations of trust and understanding
  • A safe and secure relationship

That’s the goal, right?

We wish you all the best on your journey to deeper intimacy. And as you work on re-establishing your connection with your partner, don’t forget: you can always turn to Together if you need a little extra help. After all, that’s what we’re here for! 


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